He pulled away, panting. “We have to.”
“We will.” I touched my hand to his face. We looked at each other for several silent moments, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. “We were so young once. Remember us on that bus with stupid Mikey and . . . who was that other kid?”
“Alex Duncan.”
“Yeah, Alex. Remember you guys were so mean to me?”
“We were mean to each other, Em. We were just kids.”
“Look at us now.” I laughed. “Would you ever have thought we’d be like this? Grown-up and wanting nothing more than to be with each other every second of the day?”
“I always knew.”
I laughed. “You’re lying.”
He was impassive. “No. I did. I swear to you. I always knew we would be like this one day. I think you always knew too.”
“Maybe.” My voice shook, and my eyes started to tear up.
He pulled me to his chest and held me.
“Jackson?” I asked.
“Yeah?”
“What’s going to happen?”
I could feel his heart beating fast against my chest. “Nobody knows.”
“I hate that,” I said.
“I know, I hate it too, but I guess it’s like reading a good book. The kind where you don’t want to skip pages to see what happens at the end. Each moment is a story in itself.”
“Would you say every moment is good? What about my father and your mom?” I sniffled, wiping tears from my eyes.
“Our story is great. Maybe not all the other shit, but the story of us is perfect, Em.”
“Yeah, I like that. You have a way with words, Jackson Fisher.”
His chest rumbled. “A regular wordsmith, huh?”
“You better keep writing. You’re an awesome writer, and if you stop, I will personally kick your ass.”
“All five foot four of you. I’m so scared.”
I pulled out of his arms. “Still teasing me?”
“Flirting—it was always flirting. Come on.” He opened my door and helped me in.
We didn’t speak as he drove through town. At the library, Sophia was already sitting on the steps when we drove up. I watched her eyes grow wide as we approached. From fifteen feet away, I could see her blushing. I looked back at Jackson walking behind me from the parking lot. I smiled. He looked past me to Sophia and smirked his cocky, teenage man-boy smirk. Sophia jumped up and held her hand out to him.
“Sophia Lyle. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
He shook her hand. “Jackson Fisher. It’s nice to meet you as well.”
“What a great name. So, um, did you pick Emerson up from school?”
“I did.”
“Cool.” Sophia was nodding nervously.
“Jax has to get going,” I said.
“Okay, well, Jax—you don’t mind if I call you that, right?”
“Of course not, Sophie.”
I thought she was literally going to faint.
“Okay, well, um, any time you want to see Emerson, I can totally cover for you guys.”
“No, Soph,” I said. “I’m not going to let you get in trouble with the Kellers.”
“Well, I just mean, I won’t tell,” she said.
“Okay,” I told her.
Jackson leaned down and pecked me on the lips. “’Bye, Em.”
I grabbed his face and leaned in close to his ear. “Love you.”
I’ll always have trouble remembering the first time we said, I love you, because by the time we said it freely, we had been feeling it for years. It was as natural as saying, See you later.
“Love you,” he said, before turning and leaving a captivated Sophia and a longing Emerson behind on the library steps.
“Oh my god, he’s such a dreamboat.”
I laughed. “People don’t use that expression anymore, Sophie. That was, like, way before your time.”
“I know, but I like it and it suits him.”
“Yeah, you’re right, it does. Come on, let’s get some books.”
WHEN I REALIZED that no one had noticed I was missing from sixth period, I was relieved but I knew I couldn’t let it become a habit. Later in the week, at the breakfast table, I mentioned to Mrs. Keller that the library was open until five thirty on Mondays.
She didn’t hesitate. “That’s fine. You girls can stay there until closing time.”
Sophia looked up from her oatmeal and smiled. I looked away. Before we left for school, Sophia went up to Mrs. Keller as she was doing the dishes. She hugged her from behind like she was thanking her for me, but Mrs. Keller remained rigid and didn’t return the gesture; she simply waited for Sophia to let go and then she went back to doing the dishes. When Sophia turned back to face me, she looked as happy as a clam.
I called Jax that night and confirmed that he would borrow Junior’s truck the following Monday to come and see me.
I counted down the minutes until then. I couldn’t sleep at night, I couldn’t focus at school, and at church I fell asleep from exhaustion. Mrs. Keller elbowed me. “Emerson, sit up, girl. What is with you?”
I yawned. “This is boring.”
“You might want to strengthen your connection to Jesus. You certainly could use a little divine intervention.”
“Why do you say that?”